| | Sadness
Why are things happening to all my friends parents right now? Really? More than one friends mom has had cancer this year, one of them died from it. Ryan’s mom had freak medical complications and died a month ago, when I was up there to celebrate his 30th birthday. That was hard. I just found out another friend’s dad is in the hospital, got that news this evening then the call that another friends mom passed away tonight. This is hard, really hard, I don’t want to see my friends in this much pain, it’s not right or fair, but that is life. And I wish I could do something to help them through this, but there is nothing I can do but offer moral support, a shoulder to cry on, listen if they need to talk, but I can’t heal the pain. And after Ryan’s mom died I had and still have lots of pain. When I lived in Rapid she treated me like part of the family, made me feel welcome, was a person I could talk to, and now she is gone. I know how much I hurt, I can’t even begin to fathom how Ryan feels. If something happened to my parents, if it had been my mom or dad…I just don’t know what I would do. And now another close friend is going through the loss of his mom too. And just like with Ryan I wish I could do more, I wish I could have just stayed in Rapid with Ryan to be there to help him through this, but I couldn’t. I wish I could run to my other friend right now and help him through this, but I can’t. I want to drive to where he is and just be there for him, hold his hand, give him a big hug and just let him cry. And another friend with her dad in the hospital… And I just wish I knew something to say to help with the pain. I have friends that always know what to say to make anyone feel better with anything and I am just worthless, at a loss for words, but I do know nothing I could say would make the pain go away, nothing would make it all better.
And work has turned into a nightmare which started a week ago. Due to some serious BS I may lose my job, I don’t want to go into it, I just pisses me off, but work has had me so stressed I could barley sleep until later in the week when I started to give into pure exhaustion. I am still stressed about it, but honestly, I am doing my best and that is all I can do, the rest is out of my hands.
But I do have a good thing going on tomorrow, a wedding to go to. Weddings are good, seeing two people in love starting their life together. It reminds me not all is bad in the world, not everything is death and sorrow and loss and stress. Love is there too.
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| | Posted 8/30/2008 12:12 AM - 22 Views - 0 eProps - 0 comments
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